Answer: Well, some people say that you play the best when you are totally sober. However, that crap's only true for legit trumpet players. When you're a jazz lead player, you can only get so much good practicing done. After a while, double C after double C will push your teeth back into your gums and smash your lips to hell. Well knowing that the body regenerates and if you sleep with a retainer to shove your teeth back out (like I do), the only problem is the excrutiating pain, correct? So, how do I eleviate the pain without lessening my practicing length and intensity? Well my friend, the solution is simple. The secret is alcohol. The more you drink, the less you feel it on your face. With a six-pack or so under your belt, you won't feel shit as long as the alcohol stays in your system. As long as you don't split your lip, that is. But even then, just grab a needle and thread and sew that baby back up.
Hahaha, ok, seriously, man. Don't drink and practice. It's bad in so many ways, it's not even funny. You'd have to be drunk, to drink and practice. Yeah......I feel I must quote a very clever birthday card at this point:

If you drink, don't drive......if you eat beans, don't shoot for the upper octave.

-Joe
Joe@TrumpetBoredom.com